We are planning to sell our house in two weeks. DEAR GOD THAT IS SOON. In our neighborhood houses are selling for full price in about a week so we have already started looking for a place. Getting the timing right is super tricky and I am sure we will mess it up. Everyone messes it up I bet.
Looking for the house is the fun part for me. I hate moving. HATE MOVING. Hate finding my new grocery store, hate packing, hate how my dogs act like maniacs because WHERE ARE YOU TAKING OUR STUFF! But I love looking at houses, at neighborhoods, at imagining what our lives could be like in a place.
J hates looking at houses.
He does alright at open houses, he is enthusiastic even. I have to give him credit for that, he is a trooper and almost always falls in love with what I want.
But he hates the process, the shopping part. He doesn't want to talk about streets, or how many bedrooms we want, he will not get into gory detail over and over with me. Thank GOD I have Monica or what would I do?
I try to respect his wishes. I really do. But he seems intent on spoiling this for me. He keeps saying that I am worrying too much that I am making things stressful. Somehow he has lost sight of the fact that while I am not out to torture him, I do not have to suppress my enjoyment of everything just to avoid rocking his boat.
He admitted that he is worried. Worried that what happened to us last time will happen again. When we bought this house I was hospitalized with kidney problems the week before. He had to pack our stuff, deal with my mother wigging on him, and dogsit for a friend of ours all by himself.
He really did earn the purple heart of moving.
To top it off our closing went as badly as it is possible to go--incompetent lenders, papers being lost, the whole gamut.
In his mind he dealt with it alone and you know he did have to do a lot more than his share. I mean I was the hysterical harpy that practically stalked our underwriter but he had to deal with me being a hysterical harpy so . . .
I can't guarantee it, but I really don't think that will happen again. Yes, things could go wrong. But not EVERY SINGLE THING. Not twice. At least I hope not.
And as much as he thinks he suffered, I am the one who had a fever of 104 and vomited uncontrollably for three days while taking extremely gross drugs and damaging my liver. Believe me, I hate packing but not enough to do that.
So we argued again about this shit. Which makes me crazy because we do not usually argue. And I know he is stressed about work and money and blah blah blah. So am I. But I swear, he hears everything I say cranked up about ten drama notches. When I ask, "Do you think we will have any problem getting a mortgage?" I do not mean OH MY GOD WE ARE NOT GOING TO GET A MORTGAGE ACK ACK ACK! I mean, last time really sucked, should we start now and try to make it easier on ourselves.
When I say, damn I am starting to worry we won't find a place, I am not actually worried about being homeless--I am just bummed because a house I wanted to see sold before we got there.
And I know I am being sensitive. I can't help it. He rolls his eyes at everything I say. This is a man who used to think I was smart and level headed and his equal. And now he acts like I am stupid and dramatic and not worthy of talking to.
I can already hear his response to this if he should ever read it (When did I SAY you were stupid and not my equal? IS THAT EXACTLY WHAT I SAID?). No dear, you never said that. But you know, it is hard not to feel that way when you dismiss my concerns and tell me I am just a drama queen. I am tired of you saying that. Do I get upset about things? YES. Am I neurotic? YES. But I do not try to create problems, I am a practical person and if you want to talk about some one being dramatic I would just like my dear husband to remember how he behaves every single time the Yankees lose a game to Boston. THE WORLD IS ENDING, THE DEVIL WEARS RED SOX!
It is a hard thing and I honestly do not know how to cope with it. I don't think it is an issue of our marriage really having problems, I think it is an issue where we are both being assholes but cannot seem to help ourselves.
But if everything goes right this will be the last time I buy a house for a long time. I want to savor the process--even though it is crazy and stressful. I want to find the right place, a place where I will be happy. My house now is lovely and fine and if J thinks it is his home than I am happy for him. But for me I was always thinking about our next stop. I know this attitude makes him nuts (which is pretty much why I am pissed at him--I am allowed to feel differently than you dear, that doesn't make you wrong, if you want you can just think it makes me wacko) but it is what it is.
He will stop rolling his eyes at me though. Or I will wack the back of his head hard enough to make them pop out.
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