He Better Come Home With A Good Shave

This morning I made a Costco run and found out that apparently Costco on a Saturday morning is apparently a serious meet market. Why all these single people are buying in bulk is beyond me. I was just checking out light bulbs, Coca Cola and flaxseed oil and my ass was getting checked out. Tip to single men in Washington, sidling up to a woman at Costco when you have a giant box of KING SIZED condoms in your cart she will mock you on the internet. Especially if you note the felt pads she is buying to put on the legs of her furniture and offer to come over to help her "move things around and whatever else (you) need."

Though, single ladies of Washington, get thee to Costco if you want to meet a man who gets up early to shop on Saturdays and knows his way around the tool aisle. Several look extremely hot in their flannel shirts and hiking boots. If you like that sort of thing. With crew cuts. Which apparently I do.

My mom and I then spent the day looking at ridiculously expensive furniture (rest assured should we be forced at gunpoint to buy a 1500 dollar bed we CAN) and all kinds of goodies for people who are much more organized than us. I was sorely tempted to buy a shoe rack that I would probably never use and a sock drawer organizer. That store is not selling storage tools, they are selling the idea that YOU TOO CAN BE ORGANIZED, even though there is no fucking way I can be organized.

I am actually really enjoying my weekend alone. The dogs were so worn out by keeping my ass up on Thursday night that they let me sleep in until 9 this morning. I got to wander around Costco as long as I wanted and I have made my bed both mornings. My house looks neat and I have a crazy night planned of playing online poker in bed.

I suppose I will have to let him come home, can't have him camping out on the porch. But I must say, it is a good thing that he cleans the litter box for the cat--I mean he has to serve a purpose or he is not getting back in.

Looking cute may or may not be enough.