Sunday, May 08, 2005

Pancakes Would Be Good

One of the things that women obsess over before they get married is whether or not you eventually run out of things to talk about with your husband. Men freak out constantly about sex frequency (ok I did too) which is bizarre to me because from what I hear none of the women I know have sex when they are dating so what these guys are worried about I have no idea. Besides, everyone knows that kids are what kills sex in a marriage.

But the talking. I was afraid that would be over once we got married. I mean, it is a lot of work to get rid of him now. Divorce is not quite as simple to obtain as you might think and murder is a risky. Besides, when that is over you still have to go through the trouble of breaking another man in. So there really is no motive for the husband to make any effort at all once you are married. You aren't going to get rid of him over that.

And it turns out I was right.

We have been married for more than four years and are officially out of Things To Talk About.

I have heard every damn story that he has about the Navy. He knows all of my stupid college crap. We talk about baseball more than is healthy for two bar buddies let alone married people. We agree on politics too much to spend on that. And we are far beyond the early days in a relationship--the ones when it is still cute to talk about how you have always dreamt about playing hockey using a turtle as the puck.

After four years shit like that gets your dick cut off.

I don't mean to suggest that we don't talk or have a communication problem. We talk about work, our families, the temple. Those are just updates though. We are at that old married couple stage where we can tell what stories the other one is going to whip out by the way conversations are going. We can just jump in before we have to listen to it one more time.

Small talk is over.

Part of that is wonderful. Obviously I am really not so clever and not having to pretend to be once I am home is a relief. It is also comforting to know that I do not have to listen to every word he is saying--just every third so I can fill in the blanks and respond appropriately.

The bad part is there too. We still love each other, we still enjoy each other, we still laugh. But we really get by on the Cliff's Notes at this point. No need to go too in depth since there is such familiarity on the subject.

I suppose this means I am going to have to start paying attention when he rambles about his sci-fi crap isn't it?

You would think for all this trouble he would at least cook me breakfast.

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