Thursday, September 08, 2005

One Foot In Front of The Other

Last night J and I spent unpacking furniture out of big huge cartons (because our backyard needed more trash and cardboard) and coming to the oh so alarming realization that we do not have such mad spacial relations skillz. We then moved everything around 84,000 times, put it all together and then cried real tears when we did not have a saw to cut the back of the armoire off.

All is well tonight, as I knew it would be, as J wanted to watch the OC.

I spent the day at work today feeling useless. Oh I have plenty to do. And it all matters in the end I suppose. But I do not talk to anyone all day. I could come or not come and no one would know. I went from a job where I talked to my customers all day, had hundreds of emails a day to only emailing with Monica and not talking to a soul.

It is draining me. I trying to be Polly Positive. I have learned a lot. A lot of skills but also how to work in a very different environment. How to care about things that no one else cares about because I have to do those things. How to just grind it out.

I don't hate my job. And the people are so wonderful. But I feel like I have taken a step backwards from where I wanted to be. I have always wanted to work. I have never been a girl who talks about working until she gets married or has a baby. I need to do something all day (not that taking care of a baby or a house isn't work--it is--I just know that I need to be out of my house around adults). This is supposed to be a progression of my career and it is.

It just doesn't feel like it right now.

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