Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Am Literally A Ten--Sort Of

Am having continuous clothing issues, specifically pants.

I have always had a big hip to waist ratio--as in I have a little waist and a generous ass. This makes buying pants an adventure. My big thighs do not help matters. But I have found certain brands that usually fit. I don't like buying pants so when I find pairs that I like I buy them--even if I don't really need them. Because by the time pants are a need I am screwed.

Well, in the last few months I have lost weight. I wondered if that was true. I don't feel thinner and when I look in the mirror I think I look the same. But y'all the clothes do not lie and I have many pairs of pants that simply fall off if I put them on. I can roll the waists. I put on a pair of jeans that I haven't worn in over a year because my stomach stuck out over the top and they are baggy in the butt.

I still wasn't convinced. To the point where Monica was ready to kick my ass (she is tired of watching pathetic me roll my waist). But I weighed myself at my mother's house this weekend. I try never to weigh myself, in fact when I go to the doctor I ask them not to tell me, but this year when I got my physical the nurse just blurted it out and let me tell you the number on my mother's scale was quite a bit lower than that one.

Normally I would be thrilled. My entire life my dream has been to lose weight without trying and it is happening. But I have a sinking feeling about exactly why this is happening.

I am eating less. I don't have much of an appetite. Many foods I used to enjoy make me sick or I just am not hungry. I am trying very hard to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables--even if those are the only foods I eat all day. These are all fine things, and not worrisome at all. And they may be the reason this is happening.

But Crohn's disease often has some weird consequences when it comes to the digestive system. Your body doesn't always absorb all of the nutrients and calories from foods. I take a prenatal vitamin every day for this very reason. So a un-tried for weight loss may be a sign of a progression.

Of course it is not like I am a stick--I am still in the normal range for my height. It is just that I used to be the very top weight exactly and now I am about fifteen pounds under that top limit. I could lose forty-five more I think before my doctor would blink an eye.

And y'all. I put size ten jeans on today. SIZE TEN JEANS. I haven't worn size ten since like the eighth grade.

I mean they buttoned.

And I ate a shit load of fried rice tonight (which I let my dogs eat off the floor when I spilled it. cleaning and dog feeding in one fell swoop!) so they probably wouldn't now.

I should have taken a photo of the tag with my camera phone.

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