HURRY UP DAMN IT

I hate J right this second.

It is not his fault because they are having serious work drama but I have been waiting to leave for almost two hours.

TWO HOURS.

I could have taken the bus and walked the ten miles to our house in that time.

Not that I would, I mean I would sweat if I did that. But I could have.

I want to go home. And watch the rest of the Cubs game (they are losing but I just know that they would WIN if I were home being their lucky charm) and obsessing about the pants I bought. Do they make me look like a stump? This is what I want to be thinking about. Instead I am trying to dream up things to be doing on the internet and feeling really paranoid about it even though it is not like anyone is here DAMN IT.

COME ON. They do not pay him enough to make me wait TWO HOURS.

Nothing short of the second come of Harry Caray is worth that.
***
This amazes me. Also makes me think I should have totally walked home. If that guy can do it, so can I.
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I wonder if the cleaning people go through our personal stuff at night. It makes me feel like I should leave them a little gift. Like thanks for looking for my crap, now could you empty the damn trash?

Also, I should totally lock my drawers.
***
Have a wedding to go to in less than a month. Nothing to wear to it. Have already RSVP'd and cannot back out now. Will have to overcome wardrobe issues and lack of motivation to leave the house somehow. Perhaps I would feel more prepared to do this if I felt like I was ever going to get to go home today.

That is the problem with RSVP. You can't bail later without being a big asshole. Which means that people should make me RSVP for everything.
***
God I am boring.
***
Hate everything.
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How is it possible that my ten year high school reunion is next year? Am I old? No. Everyone I graduation with is old. I am twenty-two. Also, since I am controlling the world with my mind, I have a twenty four inch waist.
***
Something is stuck in my teeth.
***
I bet Darla is totally pissed right now that we are not home. She is missing her regularly scheduled lying on the pillow time. Girl please, I am pissed too. Daddy owes us big time.
***
I was on the escalator behind these two college girls at the mall today. They were talking about how they couldn't wait to graduate and how work had to be so much more interesting than school.

Four years of drinking, sleeping around and wearing blue toenail polish is totally wasted on the young.

Not that I did any of those things.

Blue toenail polish is tacky.

Green is more my color.
***
God I am tired.
***
I wonder where my first college boyfriend is now.

He was really smart, probably makes a lot of money.

Too bad he was so short. And skinny.

And drank wine coolers.

I bet he is gay.

Except he really wasn't cute enough.

GOD. Why is his name so common that googling is worthless?

When is some one going to come out with some useful websites? Something like is myexboyfriendgay.com would be good?

Or don'tdatethisfucker.net.

OOH! Or hisdickwassosmallIlaughedmyassofflaterbutdon'ttellhimbecausehewillknowitwasmewhoblabbed.com

No wonder the internet boom failed. Everyone was coming out with shit like Amazon, nothing anyone would really use.
***
I need to keep a pillow under my desk.