Last night J and I were watching Number 8 on America's Game (I weep for those of you without the NFL Network) when I fell asleep. I am fairly certain that this dooms my attempt to be admitted into the J's Arbitrary Club of 49ers Fans for yet another season (PLEEAAAASE LET ME IN . . .I HAVE A JERSEY), I mean I can't remember the difference between the 1984 team and the 89 team and seriously, it is a wonder he lets me live in this house. And I fell asleep.
I expect to get the divorce papers served sometime tomorrow. He will repent, of course, because he needs me to get bank charges reversed and to teach him about hair products. I will get a shiny gift to beg my forgiveness or perhaps he will catch the messenger just before the papers are served.
Either way if I could just keep my fucking eyes open things would be so much better.
Anyone else ever see like a random can or bottle chilling on the street (especially in a bag) and think (nervously) that maybe Ted Kazinsky isn't really the Unabomber or had an apprentice and schrapnel is going everywhere the second some one tries to pick up that litter?
Just me? Ok.
I have no short term memory to speak of, absolutely none, and have all these coping techniques so that I don't get fired or lost or locked away in a loony bin (though sometimes getting locked away is tempting--not that those places are restful but I could probably use a break). Sadly, this means that I attend meetings with stacks of paper and take notes with a fervor associated with the worst kinds of freaks and brown nosers. This makes people either paranoid that I am trying to trap them or bemused at what an ass kiss I am. I wish I could hand out little cards with a printed message on them, something like "Notes are being taken of this meeting because AB cannot remember her own name without looking at her driver's license and she is presumably attending this meeting so she can contribute in some way," but I am thinking that would harm my credibility somehow.
All this note taking makes me feel like I am going to be taking an exam at some point and need to ruthlessly study.
Which I would totally fail by the way because I am watching back episodes of Mythbusters.
J and I have decided that with everything that has happened we deserve a fancy vacation this spring. Does anyone know anything about cruises? Good, no good? Where should we go? HELP ME WE DON'T ACTUALLY TAKE VACATIONS.