Catching Up

A few things:

1. I have this horrible and hated Shania Twain song in my head, but instead of singing the lyrics I met a tall, dark, handsome man . . . to myself I keep belting out I met a hard, dark, handsome man . . .which is also a lovely thing but slightly dirtier.

2. My parents keep calling me to tell me my cousins' grandmother died. Don't get me wrong, I am sure my cousins are sad about it and I didn't want the woman dead (I am sure I met her, but I am guessing I was an infant at the time--hell I haven't seen my cousins in at least ten years) but this isn't exactly an occasion that requires repeated (because they can't remember if they have told me or not) and grave phone calls. REALLY I AM ALRIGHT THAT THIS TOTAL STRANGER DIED OF BASICALLY OLD AGE.

3. J found our marriage certificate and cache of other important papers that we lost when we moved to this house. In the file box that we KNEW they were in and searched repeatedly over and over for the past year and a half saying "fuck fuck FUCK" while doing it. I KNEW THEY WERE IN THERE. So, we're still married.

4. I looked up "ramrod" on wikipedia today at work and worried more than a little that I was going to get a visit from IT. Why did I assume everyone in the world would be like me and put a porny definition in there?

5. J's knee keeps giving out. I think my jokes about him being held together with duct tape and superglue are less funny now that they are essentially true.