Thursday, August 11, 2005

Maybe Next Year

My birthday is next week. I am going to turn twenty-seven which is . . .odd.

Odd because I always think of my sister as being twenty-seven which means I am twenty-three and if I am twenty-seven then are we twins? Obviously math is hard. I am not crazy about turning twenty-seven. Not because I think it is old, because I don't and it isn't. But because my birthday is six months to the day from when Gladys died. That I am turning a year older and she never will again just feels wrong. There is just a lot of emotion tied up in that day and none of it has to do with my birthday.

My friend isn't coming back. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not ever. I cannot talk to her, I cannot ask her advice, I cannot make her come back. The past six months have brought new jobs, new houses, good news and bad news. My life is moving forward and hers is not. I can accept this, I have accepted it.

But I think I can be forgiven for wanting to skip the anniversary of her death. Even if that means that my birthday gets lost in the process.

1 comment:

Linda said...

27? Jeez, you're almost old as me.

And as for the other thing, try (ha) not to think too much about it. BTW, She is proud of you, I'm sure.