Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I Need A Hat Collection

Did you hear a loud wail at approximately 5:25 am Pacific Standard Time this morning? Did it make your ears bleed? Because what you heard was the wailing of the damned. The wailing of a big haired girl doomed to life without her flat iron.

It tumbled out of my hands in slow motion this morning. And hit the ground with a sickening thwack. It was the sound of a dead bird hitting your windshield, an eggshell on a freshly mopped floor, a baby's head smacking into the side of her crib.

This is my beloved Chi. The plate has split loose on one side, something I am fairly certain is not covered by the warranty. I have big horrible wavy hair which I am attempting to grow to shoulder length. If I cannot straighten my hair I will be cutting it off--possibly with a safety razor at 5 in the morning while in tears of frustration after trying to get it to look . . .HUMAN.

The heating element still works. Which is good. But the plate clap clap claps and it is hard to work with. MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO.

Besides drink lots and lots of whine and think about calling into work with bad hair that is.



2 comments:

L said...

DO NOT PANIC. DO. NOT. PANIC.
we will figure something out.
It's not right. It's only been two years. Don't worry, Chi! We're coming to save you

(i need to go to bed, don't I)

g said...

just how weird is it that i do not know you but yet i had a dream about your flat iron dilemma? i love your blog & read daily.