Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I Need A Hat Collection

Did you hear a loud wail at approximately 5:25 am Pacific Standard Time this morning? Did it make your ears bleed? Because what you heard was the wailing of the damned. The wailing of a big haired girl doomed to life without her flat iron.

It tumbled out of my hands in slow motion this morning. And hit the ground with a sickening thwack. It was the sound of a dead bird hitting your windshield, an eggshell on a freshly mopped floor, a baby's head smacking into the side of her crib.

This is my beloved Chi. The plate has split loose on one side, something I am fairly certain is not covered by the warranty. I have big horrible wavy hair which I am attempting to grow to shoulder length. If I cannot straighten my hair I will be cutting it off--possibly with a safety razor at 5 in the morning while in tears of frustration after trying to get it to look . . .HUMAN.

The heating element still works. Which is good. But the plate clap clap claps and it is hard to work with. MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO.

Besides drink lots and lots of whine and think about calling into work with bad hair that is.


L said...

we will figure something out.
It's not right. It's only been two years. Don't worry, Chi! We're coming to save you

(i need to go to bed, don't I)

g said...

just how weird is it that i do not know you but yet i had a dream about your flat iron dilemma? i love your blog & read daily.