Sunday, August 14, 2005

The Hamster In My Head Needs a Vacation


My brain just is not working right now. I just feel tired and foggy and hot and just sort of numb. I am not sure if it is stress or being a big baby or just I really am a dumb ass but my brain just feels like a pile of mashed potatoes.

We are closing on our house in two weeks. TWO WEEKS. I do not know what to do about that. Actually, there is a long list of things to do about that and I have not a single one of them. I keep spinning things around and around in my head. What furniture do I just want to get rid of? Am I just going to hate any blinds I get, even the fancy plantations ones (yes, but I am getting them anyway since whoever put the windows in the new house was obviously drunk and they are about eighty-seven thousand different sizes)? How can I convince J that he really wants the mission bed that I found instead of the sleigh bed that we saw a few weeks ago? Do I have to commit to doing something naked or can I just pitch a fit? Would pitching a fit naked work?

Our neighbors that sold their house a few weeks before us had the sale fall through. After the inspection I was starting to feel better, now I am braced for some new and even more horrible thing to happen. Like I will leave my flat iron on and burn the whole damn place down. Things are just going too well I guess.

My brain just keeps turning and turning. I try to occupy my time. I shop online for vacuum cleaners. I am obsessed with vacuum cleaners. Overstock.com has Dysons for unbelievable deals. Does anyone else covet a Dyson? Even though my daddy told me that all of his carpet manufacturers refuse to honor warranties if you use a Dyson I still kind of want one. Why is it that I feel much more comfortable telling the internet about my zits and menstrual problems than admitting my wifey lust for vacuum cleaners?

I am scouring the internet looking for vintage light fixtures. I want this but am completely unwilling to spend that much money on light fixtures. I have spent much too much time looking for braided rugs that look like the ones my grandmother has but you know, not too much like the ones she has.

I am obsessing about details. I threw up this afternoon and I cannot decide if I am actually sick or if my stomach was just rebelling at the idea of looking at even ONE MORE Craftsman fireplace screen.

My house is sitting across town, empty, waiting for me. The tub needs me to soak in it. The breakfast nook is just begging for me to sit and stare out it's window. The Brazilian Cherry floors just are made to be rolled naked on, licking them with excitement. Oh please, like you wouldn't do it. The way people react to those floors I believe that there is a whole fetish involving hardwoods. Brazilian Cherry porn is out there folks, I haven't looked but I believe it is there.

Well, when I can't sleep later I guess I can look then. Any other requests?

Not that I need anything else to obsess over. I mean how can I sleep when this light fixture is still burning somewhere?

2 comments:

L said...

The light fixture is nice. Maybe you can find one similar at Lowes? (HEH)

Frank said...

Anyabeth said: "How can I convince J that he really wants the mission bed that I found instead of the sleigh bed that we saw a few weeks ago? Do I have to commit to doing something naked or can I just pitch a fit? Would pitching a fit naked work?"

I'd say promising to do anything naked in the new bed will win J over to your side. Oh and Happy Birthday!