Mixed Bag

Sometimes I get all obsessive because my mom irritates me. And then sometimes I just want to write her a serious love poem about why she is the awesomest. Those times include today, because I just talked to her an hour about all the crazy books I read growing up in that house and how she really needs new shoes in the right shade of coral and why we as a family are fucking failures at networking and how I am going to buy my dad a big pizza cutter for Father's Day so he can open all the windows in my house that are painted shut since he keeps bragging it is so easy.

In other words my mom is as erratic and exhausting as me.

We sat here and talked and I ate chips and salsa just like I have been all evening while J cleans the whole house. I mean the kitchen is just fabulous. I don't know what possessed him or how I resisted the urge to pitch in. Actually I do know, I had a real shitter of a day--one where I alternated between wild-eyed optimism and stoned faced certainty about the doom that is about to unfold. And my period is late and I have very weird looking acne on my chin and I really need a haircut (hold on Frank, I feel a hair entry coming!). It just was not my best day and My Role clearly was to watch What Not To Wear and then talk to my mother while eating most of a jar of Pace picante and also a grapefruit.

Just the thing for some one who belongs on the bland diet.

So all my Zen early in the week about how it sucked to our friend and how lucky I am is still sort of true except many of the good things I had allowed myself to believe would happen probably are not going to and I am Sad About That. And possibly Angry. Do you see the capitals? And the situation with our friend is worse even though he probably thinks it is better I know differently. That noise you hear in the background is the whistle of the train that is going to take his ass down in a month or two if we can't pull him off the tracks.

Did I put that in vague enough terms?

So yeah, shitty day, but my mother is frankly delightful. And my husband is trying desperately to put out and well, I will leave it at that.