Thursday, April 13, 2006

Somehow I Am Positive The Rabbi Would Be Appalled

I was multi-tasking on the bus, commuting and doing a little Torah study through Aish Audio (as I love to do) and honestly, I was a little troubled by the class I had just listened to. Some of the classes on that site are more Orthodox than my beliefs and while I think there is value in learning that way it still can make me so frustrated. And I was just pissed off when I got in my car.

And this song was on the stereo.

Please go click and read the lyrics. Now imagine that sung in the same Kermit the Frog monotone that little kids use to sing their ABC's. Now imagine that with your best Boss Hogg accent. That is exactly how that song sounds.

It is just so awesome.

People just do not understand how awesomely bad country music can be. This song just warms the cockles of my heart. I mean this guy finds out his girl is doing some one else by driving by her house and he is brilliant enough to know "well GOSH, that sure ain't my truck in front of that there house." And a SONG IS BORN.

I own this cd and most of the rest of it is shit, just bad not awesomely bad, though it does have a brilliant example of that tried and true country standard--the idea that true love is born in high school and then your grow old and die together.* Sadly, it does not have an example of true love born in high school but Daddy thinks he is a bad guy and Mama says well he is just like you setting up the girl for a lifetime of bad dating choices.

I mean none of these touch the GENIUS of Islands in the Stream, which is not awesomely bad but just blame fucking awesome and anyone who does not appreciate the brilliance of Kenny and Dolly can just suck it, but still they are a good way to move on from some troubling Torah.

A sentence that I am pretty sure has never been said or typed before in the history of the goddamn WORLD.

*How fantastic is it that there are two fucking cheesy country songs with that title?

1 comment:

Matt said...

I have got to believe that Aish Audio is bad for your blood pressure.