Maybe I Shouldn't Ever Skip Class And Inflict This Crap On You

In honor of our Wednesday night class, which we are skipping so J can study for an exam he is taking Friday (so he better pass) I have been thinking a lot about Judaism and religion in general.

My family is Christian. All different sects (my parents are one, one set of grandparents another, the other set of grandparents yet another and my sister something else entirely) but related enough that it doesn't cause serious issues. There is no doubt that I grew up in a home that looked at the world from a distinctively Christian point of view.

And I thought our view was "normal" and was totally ignorant to the variety of viewpoints out there. Even within the Christian community the experience is pretty diverse.

But in my experience it is almost impossible to explain to a Christian how Judaism differs from their religion. Most Americans today think of Judaism as being like Christianity but without Jesus, after all they are closely related and that is a simple distinction.

However, when I talk to my mother or friends or my sister it becomes pretty clear that they do not understand how different the two are in practice and philosophy. This is not to say that Christianity is wrong or that my Judaic experience is universal, but it is frustrating to me that people want to turn Hanukkah into Christmas and Passover into Easter.

Now I am saying all of this as some one who is becoming a Reform Jew and is still forming my form of belief but, well I guess that is a great place to start, Judaism is highly individualized. It is highly encouraged for people to analyze meaning from scripture and to find meaning in ritual and prayer. If it has no meaning than you shouldn't do it. That is why there are Jews that don't go to temple but keep Kosher and there are Jews who would eat a ham sandwich but attend services every day. There are millions of Jews in the world and the beliefs of each one are highly specific. Now I know Christians have their individual beliefs but in my experience it is heavy on teachings and there are certain tenents that you pretty much have to believe. Judaism just doesn't work that way--in fact there are several people in our community that identify as Jews but do not believe in God (something that my sister and I got into an argument about and I am still a little mad over but am working to get over because We Are All Different).

Most Americans know that the Jewish Sabbath is on a different day from the Christian one. But many do not know why and if asked would assume that temple services look like church services. But in our community services are more like study sessions in a group but with wine. The Sabbath is less about worship and more about celebrating and resting the mind and body. So when my mother is worried because we don't go to services I am frustrated because I can't get her to see that we can do Shabbat at home and it counts the same. Because we don't believe God is counting.

Passover is not our Easter. Hanukkah really is a minor holiday. Yeah, there are a crapload of Jewish holidays. No, I couldn't even name them all. But many involve parties and liquor and that cannot be bad. If we skip services for a year we are not going to Hell because we don't believe in Hell or a particularly vengeful God. We (as in J and I because this is controversial) don't believe in a messiah, not a literal one. Nor the devil. Nor the Holy Trinity. And again, I am not saying those things are wrong (because really prove any of this) but they are just not for me.

The interesting thing about this whole experience for me is how much more big picture I can look at my religious upbringing now. How I can see elements from all of the sects that my family believes in that are meaningful. I can see why those people find comfort in their faiths.

The hard part is accepting that because my experience is so different a lot of people will never feel that way about mine.