But VERY RARELY So Shut Up

Secret to getting a buttload of compliments on your hair:

Step one: wake up with greasy fucking hair with nasty roots and stare in mirror.
Step two: glare at reflection
Step three: give the fuck up because damn girl your hair be ugly
Step four: throw in some baking powder to soak up some of the oil slick
Step five: back brush the fuck out of the top--showing total disregard to good haircare (hasn't that ship sailed) and damage
Step six: pin top into a sort of bastard mohawk-beehive-pompadour thingy
Step seven: wonder loudly if you look awesome or insane
Step eight: wear into world
Step nine: get many many compliments while silently wondering if people are making fun of you

Who knew?

Also, I do not know why I cheated on Kiehl's lip balm. But when I lost my last tub two months ago I tried Burt's Bees (which is crap. Minty. Irritating. Fucking useless crap at that) and then some Body Shop lip butters (which taste and smell so delicious but don't actually uh MOISTURIZE the lips). I finally caved and bought another tub of Kiehl's and lo the angels sang and I shall never cheat again because oh my lips aren't flaky and dry anymore. They just look soft and smooth and slightly glossy. HMMMM. Lip they have been properly moisturized.

Sometimes I am a dumbass.