Monday, May 07, 2007

Summer Thoughts

It warm and sunny and clear here today--the kind of weather that sells houses by the acre-full in Seattle. It also makes people break out the shorts and flip flops even though it isn't but seventy degrees.

I bought half a dozen tank tops and a pair of shorts today (that scream you just heard was my friend L squealing in ecstasy because I have been whining about what I was going to do about shorts for approximately eighty-seven years) so I am all set for Hawaii. Those who have been reading my blog for a while know that I have two major body issues: my big giant head and my fat weird knees. These shorts just cover up the knees without bringing out the stump in my short legs. I wouldn't go so far as to say they look good but they didn't make me cry so VICTORY it is. I found them at Old Navy, which bless their hearts but WTF is up with the sizing in that place. I tried these shorts on in seven different sizes and none of them made a damn bit of sense. The 10's were mysteriously larger than the 12's but the 14's were a size that would accommodate two of me. I kept on trying sizes on to see if I could figure out a pattern. There wasn't one, honestly just take the whole rack with you and good luck. I wouldn't have been surprised to have a size six fit me (and I haven't been a six since the seventh grade) and I wouldn't have been surprised to have an eighteen fit me (which is a size that would normally give me the vapors). What the hell Old Navy? Sizing is irrelevant much?

I just ate some of that leftover fried chicken and some pineapple for dinner. God that chicken is good. My goal for the summer was to perfect my fried chicken and if I have done it by May what will I do all summer except lounge around?

Overheard over the wall at work: "Well we don't really like to go at it quite so hard so far from home but we were just caught up in the moment. . . "

Turns out he was talking about hiking which would be a damn shame except I would prefer to think that this gentleman doesn't know a thing about any other "going at it" pursuits.

My hair has reached the crisis explosive stage where it is huge and crazy and threatening looking. I wore a barrette today. BE ALARMED. Tomorrow may bring a beehive because what else can be done with this er volume?

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