No Place to Be

So far the Neutrogena sunscreen spray has rocked my world. I cannot tell you how many people lectured me about sun protection before we left--which shocked me because y'all I have been ghostly fucking white my entire life. I do know about sunscreen. With skin like mine you either use it or burst into flames. So thanks for the lecture folks. I had planned to get a little more tan before arriving--as it is much easier to protect slightly tan skin. But things conspired to keep me out of the tanning coffin and so I am relying on the spray.

I have just the lightest dusting of pink on my shoulder and that is damn good. Especially since I have not seen any pale people since we got here. Locals are clearly not afraid of skin cancer. And tourists are all shades of fuchsia.

I took three showers yesterday as I am a big princess about my hair and have to wash salt and chlorine out immediately. I am fairly certain it will be bleached white when we leave but I am doing my best.

I am also leading the AB Family cribbage tournament of Hawaii. That is all you need to know. Also, J called me a dirty whore. That is what I call winning.

We are terrible tourists. People all around us our signed up for tours and luaus and various activities. We have spent our time on the beach and in the pool and napping. Apparently our priorities are on the lazy scale. Oh and J has a putting range setup in our living room.

We have been friendly. EVEN ME. Talking to strangers. It started on the plane and continued through various meals and even at the pool late last night when we met every stereo type of a New Yorker you have ever heard in the form of a couple from Long Island. Why do people from New York feel compelled to say that "there is no city like it"? That may be true. There is also no city like Seattle. And also, NO ONE CARES NEW YORKERS. It is an exciting city and an amazing city but you are not talking it up at this point. You are just making the rest of us dig in and INSIST that No, New York is exactly like Debuque I don't not care what you say.

J got burned yesterday and is now brown. In other news, I HATE HIM. Are these things related? You decide.

Our lazy ways would deeply upset the Type A me I am at home. We have no plans, no schedule. I would be worried that we were missing opportunities. And maybe we are. But the vacation me is just loving taking things as they come. We needed a break and we're getting it.

I guess I just do not give a fuck if we see the sugar plantations or not.