We're Here, I Need Some Booze

Things learned when traveling across the damn country.

1. If J takes a muscle relaxer because his back hurts he will be groggy, cranky and act kind of like a tool. This would be less annoying if I had seen him take the stupid pill and aren't all WTF?

2. My mother is afraid of tiny planes and filled a prescription for valium to help her get here. If a member of your traveling party needs medication to get on the plane then she will inevitable PACK SAID medication. Fortunately, she had convinced herself that we were flying in a paper airplane and was so relieved that it was a fifty seater that she practically skipped on the damn thing.

3. If you are going to rip your jeans on your trip, you will do it RIGHT AFTER your suitcase is carried outside and you can't change your clothes. They will also be your favorite jeans and the only ones that are the right length to wear with your flat shoes.

4. People are not lying when they mention that the Atlanta airport sucks. They also cannot get a flight off on time. We sat longer on the runway than the flight took.

5. If between five people there are nine pieces of luggage the airline will lose both of the bags of one person so they have no clothes or toiletries. Sadly, they will not lose J's golf clubs.

6. If J doesn't stop whining about his fucking golf I will shove a club up his ass. Actually, I didn't need to travel at all for that. I have felt that way for the past six weeks. I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR GOLF.