My sister got married today.
My mother was still baking wedding cakes this morning, J and I were doing hits off his flask throughout the day, my dad's zipper wouldn't close and I spent a surprising amount of my day taping my mother's breasts but she got married, she looked stunning and NO ONE GOT STABBED.
A very successful day.
There were moments of course. My feet swelled up like balloons because I was running around in hot as fuck weather in very high shoes. My mother and I were FERVENTLY admired by the men fixing the washing machine at the hotel but you know she had a serious rack going today and my ass looked fantastic. A person at the reception told J how they were praying for him because he was "lost" (do people not get how fucking offensive that is? It's not lost it is JEWISH). We almost lost her cat (my sister is reading this and having a stroke--he bolted but was corralled with no harm but dude we had eighty-four thousand things to carry in your house WE'RE SORRY WE KNOW YOU WARNED US). It took me twenty minutes to do my mother's makeup and about seventy of those were spent coloring in her eyebrows.
But it was a beautiful service. My sister has some lovely friends. I can see why she feels connected to this community.
And one would assume she is getting laid tonight and that can only be good right?
1 comment:
No stabbings. You really can't ask for anything more, you know?
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