Saturday, October 28, 2006

Landslide


So. I have written here about my unspeakable love for Jamie Hyneman.

My pal Linda made fun of me just this week about this. Even though she has a thing for freaking Bobby Flay. Which to me is much more embarrassing and unexplainable. But don't take my word for it. Let's have a Jamie vs. Bobby fight to the finish.

Bobby Pros: Can cook anything, anywhere, anytime. I imagine Mr. Flay would be on permanent KP duty in any household. And given the size of his man-boobies he shouldn't talk too much shit about any cellulite you might have. He does have hair--even if it is a little poofy. Excellent people skills and sense of humor. He's pretty famous, enough that I am sure he gets free shit but not SO FAMOUS that there are many groupies. And if they are food groupies and probably chubby. Or bulemic. He knows about wine. Also, he seems like the type to wear a man-thong if that is your preference. Just saying.

Bobby Cons: Man-boobies. Poofy hair. Kind of arrogant. Huge ego. Would undoubtedly be snobby as shit about any crappy food that you might want to eat--no boxed macaroni and cheese, no pudding cups. A peanut butter sandwich cannot be a fucking peanut butter sandwich it must also have cayenne pepper, pecan butter and four berry jam.

Jamie Pros: Rakish ability to wear berets. Handy with tools. Almost alarming science ability. Ripped out body (did you see the episode that he wore a latex body suit in? DAYAM). Calm in pressure situations. Owns a drill press. Could adapt Coke machine to actually deliver sodas to my couch. Walrus mustache. Blows shit up for fun. Drop dead sexy.

Jamie Cons: Bald. Eerily calm. Nerdy possible to a fault. Has annoying sidekick. Science groupies probably wear seductive underwear. Doesn't wear latex suit every day. Walrus mustache.

WINNER: JAMIE

Landslide victory baby.

1 comment:

Linda B said...

Ripped out body (did you see the episode that he wore a latex body suit in? DAYAM).

HWAAAAAA. I laughed for 10 minutes

One word: Beret

I rest my case. Man boobies win.