Almost every marriage shares certain hot button issues that cause nuclear meltdown fights with door slamming and towel throwing--money, family, money--these issues cause some of the most horrifying nights in the marriage. But eventually you sort it out, not that this issues solve themselves or even get settled, but they evolve into the sort of discussions that you can have with just strained faces and tense words.
My in-laws are such a topic.
Well, specifically my father-in-law.
I think I have written a bit about this before (but am too lazy to search) but my husband does not have much a relationship with his dad. J was brought up in a weird way (that I cannot think about too carefully or I will either cry or scream) and as a result just feels distanced from his dad. They do not have a lot in common. His father also has some mental health issues and no social skills at all. So usually when he comes to visit they sit and stare at each other, totally uncomfortable. His father will ask him pathetic questions that he should know the answers to like "how old are you?" and "what is your middle name?" and J feels frustrated by the whole thing.
And I am just tired of it. I am tired of dreading it. We have been here for three months and I have been dreading this visit since the day we moved in. I dread it not just because of the ugly time when he is here (which I often miss because my attempts at small talk just make it worse) but because J gets in a foul mood for days before hand.
He was already pissy this weekend--some mess with a computer he was building--and this has just made it worse. And I know as the wife I am supposed to just cope with it because my god that man actually talked to my crazy grandma with the photo album full of dead body pictures and sometimes he brings me cokes while I blog in bed and don't I owe him something?
No internet I do not.
I am tired of this. But I am at a loss as to what to do. I admire his unwillingness to just let go of his dad and not talk to him anymore since it causes so much tension for everyone. But at the same time their current solution is just maddening. Do I have relatives that make me want to rip my eyeballs out? SURE DO. But either I find a way to deal with it or I call them on it. Or both.
And I don't bitch at my wife about it either.
That is why I have a HUSBAND.
No comments:
Post a Comment