Monday, February 12, 2007

Pop Quiz

1. If you were in a meeting at work with some one who is not exactly your boss but could definitely mow your ass down should she choose to decides to share that she is internet dating as her New Year's Resolution and put that she is overweight in her profile because she "is tired of all the fucking bullshit about being fat," do you:
a. Insist that she isn't overweight at all and murmur something about how men are so shallow.
b. Holla "YOU GO GIRL!" at the top of your lungs.
c. Make wide eyes of FEAR at her assistant and consider crawling under the table.

2. You see a woman riding on a bicycle on a busy road with a toddler riding on the handle bars, neither of them are wearing a helmet. You:
a. Sing to yourself, "We're all different . . . " and try not to judge.
b. Grab your cellphone and call 911--this is a helmetless baby emergency!
c. Judge that woman so harshly that you bust a vein in your eyeball and now you look deranged.

3. Your boss brings by your yearly bonus figure, you:
a. Calmly thank her, you appreciate their acknowledgement of your hard work.
b. Start mentally spending the money, you hadn't given a thought to the figure.
c. Note the figure is the high one on your estimate which you have obsessed over for a couple of weeks, actually squeal "WHEEEEE" aloud and send your husband an email with eighty-seven exclamation points.

4. Your nose is running and you are trapped on the bus, you:
a. Blow it quietly and gently into the kleenex you always keep in your purse for just this occasion.
b. Hock it into a plastic baggie.
c. Tilt your head back until you cannot sniff the snot back into your face, and once it starts dripping just say fuck it and wipe it on your sleeve.

5. You didn't get anything out for dinner this morning and must scrounge together something for a meal, you:
a. Eat leftover stirfry with vegetables and rice.
b. Make a nice salad with cheese and tater tots--you like variety.
c. You make a meal of marshmallows, diet coke and cheese puffs.

If you answered mostly a's you are the kind of mature, professional person I should strive to become, if you answered mostly b's then you are the kind of free spirited person who doesn't over-think things too much I want to be and if you answered mostly c's you are totally fucking me and are headed to bed before 7 AGAIN.

1 comment:

Linda B said...

Ooh, a TEST

1) A. A IS SAFE
2) C. I'm all about the judgy, yo
3) DUH. C
4) Shoot girl, C
5) D- Call Pizza hut

Thanks. That was fun. Do I get an A?