Letters From Some One With Issues

Dear Fucking Annoying Ass Girl On The Bus Today,
Bitch, just because you have a backpack on GOD KNOWS what else does not mean you get another seat on the damn bus during commuter hours. And rolling your eyes and flipping me attitude just makes DAMN SURE that I am sitting in that seat. Step off the entitlement train before I smack the living shit out of you.

Dear It Department of My Workplace That I Want To Continue To Work For So Don't Dooce Me,
Getting the fucking stick out of your ass and fix the problem. If you can't manage that then replace the goddamn machine. Do not belittle the very nice and easily intimidated man that is asking for your help. I am trying to be a professional here don't make me chuck his fucking machine out the window to get a resolution here.

Dear Cubs,
Please start winning and stop torturing me and my grandpa. I know this is too much to ask but I am still begging.

Dear Week,
Please fucking move it along, you are TOO LONG.

Dear Sinus Cavity,
Stop dumping shit down my throat. It hurts, it is making me crabby and still my voice is not sexy like Kathleen Turner's. I just want to breathe DAMN IT.

Dear Pile Of Laundry,
Could you just fucking do yourself please? Just sitting there all accusing is helping no one. Learn some self direction.