My grandfather is apparently ok. My sister and I had a rather semi-weepy (I couldn't full on get into guilt mode on the phone because I was at work) conversation this morning about how neither of us called him for Father's Day. How neither of us sent a card. How WE DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE.
The truth is that neither of us is so terrible. Especially not her because she is MUCH better about calling our grandparents. They are old. They don't always understand you when you talk to them. My grandpa kept deleting my emails because he doesn't recognize my married name (and really cannot fathom why I stopped using the very twee nickname I went by when I was five). I love my grandparents, but it is just HARD. This is a reminder though, that it is worth the effort. That we need to do it now while we still can.
There are so many things I want to say to both my grandparents but I cannot think of a way to do it. Not without sounding like I am delivering the eulogy at their funerals while they are still alive.
I want to say thank you. For loving me and loving my sister so much. Thank you for playing ten thousand games of Candy Land. For cutting my bangs straight again after I butchered them again so my dad wouldn't find out. Thank you for the ice cream eating contests and the eighteen bedroom sets in your basement that you always let the kids play on. Thank you for having a GEORGE WASHINGTON themed bedroom. Thank you for Golden Glow*.
Every child deserves some one to think that they are perfect and to love them beyond reason. Your parents can't think you are perfect because they need you to push you to become more, to grow. Your parents have to see your flaws. But my grandparents just loved us and treasured us and would do anything for us. Every child deserves that but we are fortunate to have it even today.
We have much more to lose than other people. And we know we are going to lose it soon. But not today and that is the important thing.