The Nibbler

One of the side effects of having a controlling personality is that I have a particular style of doing most things. My most bizarre behavioral tic is how I eat.

I nibble** everything.

For some reason I just cannot take large bites. And if no one is watching (because my mother is not a wolverine and would disembowel me if I didn't have manners) I will disassemble my meal and each component separately. Nibble nibble nibble. I am saying that potato chips are three to four bite affairs for me.

I have no idea why I do this. Or why I have to force myself to eat any other way (which is actually easy in most eating situations, but if it just me and a piece of pizza I am picking that sucker apart). I have seen toddlers eat this way so I know others do it. They are just in the pre-school set.

This is how it took me fifty full minutes to eat my grilled cheese sandwich at lunch today.

I know.

But! I! Can! Explain!

I have to eat the entire crust off first (nibble nibble nibble) before I could move onto the cheesy middle. I like the crust, but to me it is a separate thing entirely from the rest of the sandwich. Only after I eat it all can I start on the middle. Which I eat by pulling small chunks off (and sadly, often eating those in several bites).

Everyone who thought that I was a saint for putting up with J's Star Wars addiction owes him a big apology.

**To make this even weirder, as a child I insisted that people call me Nibbler. Not because of my food issues, but because I was a bunny. There really is no medication that can deal with me. I have the FDA on speed dial.