Monday, March 28, 2005

Clown with Pitchforks

I know that other people have complained about this. I know that they have done it in fresher, funnier and more interesting ways. And I. Do. Not. CARE. Bring me the motherfuckers head that came up with the ad for "Tender Crisp Chicken Bacon Cheddar Ranch."

That jingle, actually just that line from the jingle has been playing on repeat in my head for days now. Days. It is my mental response for everything. "Honey, do you want some pie?" Tendercrispchickenbaconcheddarranch "Sweetie, how is your headache?" itstendercrispbaconcheddarra-NCH "What do you think of the situation in Israel?" ITSTENDERCRISPCHICKENBACONCHEDDARRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-NCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCH!!!!!!!!!

It doesn't stop. It is the most horrifying jingle in the history of the known universe and it comes with equally alarming visuals. Hootie! As a cowboy! And the big GIANT BK HEAD! Streets paved with cheese! That shit is way scarier than clowns and clowns are scary I am just saying.

I am glad I don't believe in hell because I no longer think it consists of clowns poking your thighs with pitchforks. Its that song playing over and over as you have to dance with the big giant BK head. While clown poke your thighs with pitchforks.

1 comment:

GM said...

I can't watch that commercial. I have to change the channel. The plastic head Burger King is about the scariest thing I've seen. Remember the previous commercials where a guy woke up in bed and the BK guy is right there with a sandwich? Who thought that was a good idea????