The Real Survivor

I am now thirty three weeks pregnant. And really really want this baby to stay in for another month (once she is fully cooked she can feel free to fly her way down to freedom as far as I am concerned). But sadly, I kind of want to have her now because I really do not understand how I am going to make it another seven weeks. Or another seven days honestly. I am so exhausted from just going out with friends last night that I can barely move. And this week is the week that I stopped being able to breathe. Which is more troubling than you might think. Turns out that I really enjoy breathing. Who knew?

I don't know exactly how much weight I have gained--other than the rather vague A LOT. At least thirty pounds, maybe as much as forty, I don't actually want to know. I feel lucky that it's really all the belly and boobs (except for the HORRIFYING amount of fluid chilling in all my joints). The only issue with it all being in these spots is that I look like a cartoon (and scare people) and it's thrown off my body so much. My pelvis feels like it has been cracked in a million pieces, my lower back is swollen and bruised and while I can get up out of a chair pretty easily by myself (my chiropractor complimented my stomach muscles in that respect) it is pretty painful each time.

Billions of women have been through this and I am pretty sure they are all tougher than me. I am grateful for the experience, not because I really wanted to be pregnant (I have spent years trying to convince J that he should give it a go) but because we want a family and this is the right way for us to do this. I am not going to pretend at all that I have loved even a SECOND of being pregnant because I haven't. And this baby would be smart to come out very cute and also possible a good sleeper. I am just saying. I think that people who enjoy being pregnant for the most part have easy pregnancies. I have been sick every day of this time. I am in pain. I am pretty sure Miss Thang will be an only child. But I am sure she will be worth it. And we'll have our family. That's the important thing.

That and that somehow I survive the next few weeks.