Stupid Fucking Cats, Both of Them

Because of my haircolor I feel this sort of obligation to at least give off the appearance of having my shit together. I just do not want to be part of the problem, so to speak, that is perpetuating this myth of dumbshit ditzy blonds. Also, I do find that I get more credibility from the world at large if I don't act like an idiot--I am sure this advice works well for anyone regardless of coloring.

But still. I do try. And I am failing miserably this week. My brain simply feels full. Of useless shit, NATURALLY, but also of things that I need and am using. It is just that sort of week, with too much going on and since I have no short term memory at all I forget all sorts of things like names and the word pro-active (which you think I would remember since it is an acne system that Brooke Shields is a spokeswoman for) and I actually put GO TO THE BATHROOM on my to-do list today because I totally forgot yesterday and almost pissed myself.

The dogs have been all nutty and our schedule has been weird (since J has been doing FUN things which how dare he when I am busy forgetting his name here) and I haven't really slept much this week which is really not helping. But still some important or notable or probably really fucking boring things have been happening:

1. I colored my hair because the tanning booth had fucking bleached it white again. And men were leering at me. I think because Hugh Hefner's girlfriends all have hair that color (though much larger and faker looking breasts than mine) and so they all associate that color with woman who take off their tops in public. It is still really light but more flattering. I think. But also somehow makes my hair look LONGER. How is that possible? And why, when people comment on how long my hair is, do I feel compelled to EXPLAIN that I might maybe possibly be trying to grow it and blah blah blah until we both just want to die and why can't I shut up?

2. The guy who owns the car I hit last week called. Apparently he is my neighbor's brother who left the car there while he borrowed one of their cars. Apparently he is also a delightful person who doesn't think I should have to pay anything and doesn't care about that car so don't worry about a thing. And I didn't even have to take my top off!

3. The dogs have decided that they hate the cat across the street and there is nothing anyone can say or do or put in their food to drug them that will change their minds (ok, I didn't drug anyone but I really thought about it at about midnight last night). They keep barking and banging their heads on the front window trying to get at this cat who is either really stupid or taunting them. Am sorely tempted to just open the door and let the chips fall where they may.

4. Project Runway started yesterday and I still have not watched! Because J and I are watching together. Am a beacon of self-restraint!

Alright, the manic sleeplessness will undoubtedly continue but I simply must go pry my wedding ring away from the cat who is trying to throw it down the heating duct.