So the doctor thinks that a few things could be happening:
1. I was pregnant and am miscarrying.
2. I had an ectopic pregnancy and am miscarrying.
3. There is something wrong with one of my ovaries.
She is awesome though, kept trying to cheer me up saying well maybe this means we know you can get pregnant. I waver between that Pollyana view and the slightly more psychotic view that yes, I can get pregnant with embryos that will die.
The truth is that the option I want it to be (the mysterious and sadly absent #4) is that this is all not happening and I do not have to deal with it.
So instead of obsessing about this (and the also annoying fact that car crash man STILL HAS NOT PICKED UP THAT NOTE AND IT IS ALL WET FROM THE RAIN AND ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRAZY) I am completely obsessed with this barbershop I drive by after work each day.
It is called Physique. Excuse me, actually it is Fiz-Eek. Oh how I wish I were kidding. It has tinted windows and is decorated with blue neon lights on the inside. The slogan printed on the banner reads:
Where boys become men and men become KINGS.
Y'all, tell me the truth, this is a whorehouse right?
Because I cannot think of a single other reason for that being the fucking slogan for a barbershop. Though personally I think a topless barbershop is a brilliant business idea because every single straight guy I know would go get a haircut from a topless chick. She wouldn't even have to be that hot. Just naked boobs and a pair of clippers.
I suspect it would be a health code violation. Which is a damn shame because I was already spending my retirement fund from the franchise fees.
I suppose this means I will be going to work AGAIN tomorrow.
Become KINGS indeed.