Sunday, May 21, 2006

I Got Married So I Wouldn't Have To Sleep With Strangers Damn It

J has had a beard or a goatee the entire time I have known him. I think he grew it when he was tossed out of the Navy as sort of a "fuck you I can do what I want to" since they couldn't control his appearance anymore. I made him shave it before we got married after I watched this Oprah where this woman had been married for seventeen years and had never seen her husband's bare face.

I know this isn't a good reason.

He looked freaky. Not bad, because of course my husband is handsome and perfect and delightful in every way, but just strange and not him. He has a weak chin, but with the cleft in the chin which I adore, but the chin is just sort of wussy other than that.

He shaved it off on Friday. And it freaked me out all night. We were at the movies and it was like I was on a date with a stranger. I kept waking up during the night and it was like I was sleeping with a stranger.

Thank GOD he only does this every three years (the beard gets itchy or something I am only sort of listening to the reasoning) or I might have to hurt him.

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