A really ridiculous thing happened at work today, one that I feel pretty comfortable talking about here because it really isn't about my office. It's about offices all around this country and all the stupid shit that happens in them that makes no sense at all.
They are taking away our trash cans.
I don't actually get this. Apparently this is to encourage recycling. And also exercise because you have to get up to throw things away? So when you have a cold that uses eighty-four thousand tissues a morning you can drag your ass to the trash center and burn 10,000 calories.
We have solved both global warming and the obesity epidemic.
I think this is why so much of the eco-movement just irritates the hell out of me. I do not mind doing small things that add up to big things. I don't even mind doing big things if they make sense. But I really mind that I am not allowed to have a goddamn trash can anymore to throw away my snotty tissues. And that I was barraged with emails after the announcement from people hitting reply to all friggin celebrating that we would all get exercise while we GO GREEN.
I love the sentiment of Go Green but I would like the phrase erased from the English language.
I suppose this all makes me a planet killing fat ass who doesn't want any exercise. I doubt that surprises anyone.