Pregnant Face Goes to the Gap

I just want to say ALL HAIL THE MOTHER FUCKING GAP. I've been struggling with clothes, since my belly has just exploded and wearing the regular stuff just doesn't work anymore. My super long torso with a big belly is a recipe for the kind of exposure that traumatizes people (including me). I had to give up my regular pants weeks ago, something that delights me (because honestly I thought I would have to give them up in week three) even though I know I pulled it off through laziness. I had some pants that I hadn't bothered to alter the waists in, which were too large. Bless the lazy yo!

At any rate maternity shopping is fucking annoying. A lot of pants only run up to size 12 and the sales girls admit that they run small. Or they sag in a way that is just not ok. Or they are so ugly that I cannot stand to even think it. I was seriously thinking about using black electrical tape to cover the white stripes on my Adidas sweats and calling them dress pants. I don't think my boss understands that I was totally not kidding when I told her that was my plan for the week before I go on leave. But I am pretty sure I will be large and frightening enough that she won't fuck with me by then.

I ordered two pairs of pants from the gap plus a jacket and GOD BLESS THEM. They look like real pants, fit the leg nicely and were not a million dollars (they were not cheap though). The jacket is cute and soft and while note PERFECT will serve me well I think the rest of the way. I also have a couple of t-shirts and a sweater from the line and am pleased with the fit (just by your normal Gap size) and quality (seems to be normal Gap quality which is definitely higher than most maternity wear). Best of all? They carry large sizes, up to size 20. As some one who is just at the high end of regular sizing (hilarious that, since I am smaller than the average American woman so I can't be alone here) the other options are infuriating (I am aware that plus sized women have it even worse).

Gap isn't perfect. The jeans I bought are the best option I've found so far, but they are a hair shorter than I'd like and not the cutest wash. And it's annoying how few sizes and styles they have in-store. And their selection this summer was HORRIFYING, full of florals and baggy tops and capri pants. But this fall they have sensible and tailored career options and cute casual things.

When you are six months pregnant and tired and trying to do a million things you really don't want to have to worry about how you are going to cover your ass appropriately.

Of course I do wish that they had something that would somehow give the illusion that I do not have pregnant face. Which appeared this week. And J was too foolish to lie to me about.

SIGH