Alone

J spent most of the week out of town for a work event. He came back Thursday night and then left again this morning for his high school reunion. Fool actually wanted to go to his (I avoided mine like the damn plague honestly). I guess I understand. He grew up poor and was on his own so young that really it is against all odds that he would become as successful as he has. I think he wants to flip off all the people who were mean to him. I am sure he will have a great time.

I spent my time getting my hair all prettified (it has morphed into the PYRAMID OF DOOM lately, when my hairdresser's dad cut it last time he hesitated to cut off enough). Maybe now I will stop rocking the ponytail every day. I think I am at the point where I need to put a little more effort into my appearance or I am going to start getting depressed.

I do miss J when he is gone, even though he has been out so much the past couple of months that I am a lot more used to it. I do love having the bed to myself though, I can't lie there.

Pregnancy is a lonely experience, which is something that I didn't expect. You wouldn't think you could be lonely, the baby is right with you after all. But no one is really doing it with you, even your partner (if you have one) isn't changing at the rate that you are. And of course, everyone has a damn opinion about what you are doing, eating, how you look, etc. It's isolating. I am grateful for it, of course I am after everything that we have been through, but I can't help but miss the old days. But the old days aren't coming back.

Ever.