Y'all I learned a very important lesson today.
It is possible to barf up an entire hot fudge sundae into a ziplock baggie while driving a car sixty miles an hour on the freeway.
And no one died.
While I am naturally sad that I wasted perfectly good ice cream (which my friend L got for me because she RULES, she also told me today that I don't look that bad--those two things were the best things that happened to me today), I did get something out of it. Ziplocks work really well for on the go barfing--you can shove most of your face in there (I did get a drop or two on my pants but I think if I hadn't been driving the car and trying not to crash this wouldn't have been an issue) and then zip it up when you are done so you don't have to smell that curdled milk smell all the way home.
I am totally putting some empties in my purse. Since the one I used this time was full of wheat thins (I was totally debating in my head where I could put said wheat thins and then DECISION MADE), hot fudge puke plus wheat thins smells and looks pretty horrible. If y'all couldn't figure that out on your own.
Then I came home and took a nap.
I am eternally grateful that I was not on the bus when this happened. And also that I had the baggie. Also, that I didn't crash. I am pretty sure some people in the car pool lane were staring at me but it's not like I have dignity at this point so stare away.
Grossest thing? Was immediately starving, the gut wrenchingly starving but the only I had were those wheat thins and fuck I wasn't eating those.
Best thing? For ten minutes I felt normal. I didn't feel sick, I had energy, I was singing with the radio. I had this flash of this is how I used to feel, this is what happy feels like. I mean it was gone right after but still ten minutes of happy. I'll take what I can get.
No comments:
Post a Comment