Now Go Shop

Because I know that the internets sit around and wait on me to post about what products I am using I have to tell y'all about my skin. I believe I have mentioned (whined like a little girl who let go of her balloon) that my skin got jacked by the pregnancy hormones about a month ago. I was so broken out and hideous. And then, to make matters more interesting it got dry as hell a few weeks ago as well. Which are two problems that really don't play all that nicely together. My skin was flaking off in sheets and breaking out like I was getting ready for the seventh grade dance. AWFUL.

So I finally caved and thought I would treat the dryness first, since it couldn't be helping the acne situation. I took Amalah's advice, and used some certificates on Philosophy's Purity cleanser and Hope in a Jar moisturizer. I'd been using Hope in a Bottle but that is really more of a treatment than a moisturizer and since I was mimicking a desert here I took the plunge.

So Amalah is brilliant. Because as much as it pains me to spend 20 bucks on a cleanser (but I had a certificate and a discount--and apparently care too much if the internet thinks I spend too much on skin care) but these two products are really making a difference for me. A week later and my skin is so much smoother and softer without resulting in an oil slick. The acne is slowly coming around but you know, still pregnant, so I am not expecting miracles.

My other issue has been my sinuses, which are not congested but just swell and ache and cause all kinds of angst (and wrinkles in my face--goddamn I am a sexy beast). I went all DEF CON 5 on my sinuses with allergy pills and a humidifier but what has done the most good is the nasal rinse.

Pregnant ladies and allergy sufferers everywhere, run DO NOT WALK, to the drugstore and spend your ten dollars. Yes, it is gross to propel water up your nose (and have it come out your mouth a little) and yes, the first time I did it something grey came out (and I screamed IS THAT MY BRAIN?!?!) but now I am like a little crack whore for my nasal rinser. It clears my head, gets rid of that ache, takes the swelling out of my eyes. Brilliant.

If more than a little disgusting.

Alone

J spent most of the week out of town for a work event. He came back Thursday night and then left again this morning for his high school reunion. Fool actually wanted to go to his (I avoided mine like the damn plague honestly). I guess I understand. He grew up poor and was on his own so young that really it is against all odds that he would become as successful as he has. I think he wants to flip off all the people who were mean to him. I am sure he will have a great time.

I spent my time getting my hair all prettified (it has morphed into the PYRAMID OF DOOM lately, when my hairdresser's dad cut it last time he hesitated to cut off enough). Maybe now I will stop rocking the ponytail every day. I think I am at the point where I need to put a little more effort into my appearance or I am going to start getting depressed.

I do miss J when he is gone, even though he has been out so much the past couple of months that I am a lot more used to it. I do love having the bed to myself though, I can't lie there.

Pregnancy is a lonely experience, which is something that I didn't expect. You wouldn't think you could be lonely, the baby is right with you after all. But no one is really doing it with you, even your partner (if you have one) isn't changing at the rate that you are. And of course, everyone has a damn opinion about what you are doing, eating, how you look, etc. It's isolating. I am grateful for it, of course I am after everything that we have been through, but I can't help but miss the old days. But the old days aren't coming back.

Ever.

Petty Moment

Allow me my lunchtime pettiness.

If you are wearing flip flops with a skirt suit I will laugh at you. If your shoes are so uncomfortable that you can’t stand to wear them for the three block walk to the deli than you are ridiculous and need new shoes. Obviously, you don’t care about looking cute so I doubt your “real shoes” are anything so special. The fact that these are red polka dot flip flops only makes it worse. That you did this on a day when it is pouring down rain and is less than sixty degrees makes you even funnier. Then you splashed in a puddle outside of the alley where all the homeless people like to urinate. PLEASE BUY SOME REAL SHOES.

Speaking of the homeless, when standing in line to buy soup (y’all it was COLD today) this homeless kid like horns in line in front of me to get crackers from the counter guy. Shoved me straight out of the way. I was making the WTF face behind him as the counter guy patiently gives him the crackers. Then I feel like a jerk for being impatient. But still! Not only are you trying to gank free food (he also wanted free soup) from a place that charges for it (so he wouldn’t have to walk all the way down to the soup kitchen!) but you shoved aside the people who were waiting to pay for it. Because your time is so much more valuable than their’s!

I am still probably an a**hole huh?

Checking In

My lands it has been a while. I've been busy . . .not doing much honestly. Gestating wildly. My stomach now hangs over my pants in an alarming rendition of beer gut. I bump into things with it and also my boobs which are . . . well huge judging by how J's eyes occasionally widen when I taken my shirt off.

J has taken to telling people that I am getting big which may be true if I were not pregnant but it's only going to get bigger and sadder from here. The glee with which he forwarded a FRIGHTENING belly pic of a friend of our's wife is the best reason so far that we will be taking pictures of that nature of me. Because he is already telling people that I am a fatty and I don't need photographic proof floating around.

I see people looking at me and they are clearly trying to decide if I just do not have the decency to suck it in or if I am pregnant. I suspect all doubt will be removed here pretty quickly but it's a little weird.

This weekend we went to my pal L's son's first birthday party. When I say we I mean my mom and I because J is a big fucking baby about going to social events that do not revolve around him. This actually worked well because I hadn't seen my mom in a month and we chatted away and contemplated stealing the guest of honor who was just so damn cute.

I felt bad though, because as the only white people there we were clearly freaking the guests out. People kept checking on us, trying to get us to eat more, fretting about whatever. I hate being the stressful guest, especially since we were so happy.

Of course if they had wanted to hand over baby O as a party favor I think my mom would have accepted gladly. And run like hell.

My Grandfather Misspelled My Mother's Name Causing Years of Beuracratic Mistakes So I Guess This is Traditional

I was thinking today about how I don't know how to spell my middle name.

That sounds ridiculous doesn't it? I am 28 years old. I am reasonably intelligent. I should know how to spell my own fucking name right? But I don't and neither do my parents.

My middle name is Ann, or Anne (everyone who thought my real first name is Anyabeth and just realized how cruel Anyabeth Ann(e) would be I am sorry). Growing up my mother taught me to spell it Anne, which is how my grandmother's name is spelled. That is how it was spelled on my school records and on my social security card.

Fast forward to applying for my driver's permit, and the yet unnoticed discrepancy on my birth certificate. ANN. No e.

My mother says that since my middle name is from my grandmother's name that of course it would be spelled the same way (this makes stylistic sense too, because my sister's middle name Suzanne has an e--or DOES IT? Shit, I THINK IT DOES). My dad claims that they didn't want her to think it was for her, they just like the name, so of course they didn't spell it that way.

My guess is since in the 70's in Iowa father's filled out the birth certificate, my dad spelled it his way, and when my mom applied for my social security number she spelled it her way. And they never actually talked about it.

So when I added J's last name to my name (somehow keeping all three of my prior names) I think I decided what spelling to use.

I just can't remember which one it was.

BRILLIANT

Sleepy Sunday

Yesterday we ran errands and spent too much money on stuff for J for four hours and I came home napped for three hours and then went to bed for good for ten hours. Apparently, I can only handle an hour of activity per day now.

Which is just a damn shame because today I made an emergency start for J's softball team. I've played on this team for years but in the current condition I've been sidelined for the year. But they only had one female player for today (a double header) and if you know anything about co-ed teams--well your team actually has to be co-ed in order to be allowed to play. So, I agreed to play if they could find another girl.

Before anyone has a stroke there were very specific conditions at work here. I caught, and was not to get into any confrontations at the plate (any play the pitcher was going to cover). When I hit I could run to first and then use a courtesy runner.

And it was fine. No problems at all. We were very competitive the first game and then the second team didn't show so we won that game. Which thank god, because it was SO HOT out there I could barely move. If we had actually had to play the second game I might not have made it.

I am officially in the second trimester now and I actually feel really good. KNOCKING VIGOROUSLY ON WOOD. All things considered I am hoping the worst is over and I will cruise through the next few months.

Of course given my history I probably need to go to bed right now from all this activity.

Updates

I came home from New York with a heavy dusting of acne all over my face. I am not sure if it was caused by the weather change (such extreme humidity coupled with dryness in air conditioning), the fact that I forgot my facial cleanser and used hotel soap (I KNOW), that pregnancy has made me look ugly in every other way so why not this one, or because I had shat in HELP ME twelve days.

Since I've been back I've been coating my face with a steady diet of acne serum which is clearing it up pretty quickly but also is causing a wee bit of dryness in certain areas. Like just under my nose I pulled off approximately 82 pounds of flaking skin this afternoon. Which is just as sexy as you are picturing.

The Cubs are tied for first. I have nothing to say about that. Just picture me clapping and cheering randomly throughout the day.

At some point between thirteen and fourteen weeks you are supposed to wake up and feel good. Have more energy, not want to DIE anymore. This morning I woke up much less queasy and was like OOOH MAYBE. But sadly I threw up in a baggie on the bus tonight so NO.