One of the big issues in my marriage is food.
Well, I mean sort of. I guess food is just where some of this comes out at is--in big ugly messes that lead to weird judgments of each other--the truth is the big issue is more of he didn't grow up the same as me and I didn't grow up the same as him and so together we are weird.
We are busy people. I like to cook but don't really have time for extensive meal planning. I think I am a good enough cook--I could be better but again these things take time which is one damn thing I do not have the episodes of Ellen on my Ti-Faux aren't going to watch themselves you know. So to me, when I take time and make something special that is like a statement. Not to get to melodramatic and oh my GOD like those girls who squeal at work, but you know it is part of taking care of my husband (fuck, I sound like such a tool but whatever notice I don't do it every day--he is grown adult he can feed himself). Unfortunately, J doesn't take it that way. He just shrugs it off as dinner and will gleefully eat leftovers right before because he's "hungry NOW" and doesn't want to wait. I mean he is just snacking, he'll still eat dinner, but to me it is like he just doesn't fucking care about me and my efforts and to him it is just eating.
Yes, I am aware that I am a giant fucking cliche.
The truth is that neither of us are wrong, which is sadly usually the case. We are just different and even when we explain our sides to each other there is some heading shaking on both of our parts and how SILLY the other is. He thinks dinner is just dinner and not a metaphor for our entire MARRIAGE?! And he has already moved on to thinking about gravy or something.
At any rate it is both frustrating and unsolvable really, unless we would like to go back in time and have the same family of origin which would create a whole NEW SET of issues and be about eighty-eleven kinds of gross. So we just try to slog through it and not kill each other. So far so good.
Not sure I will make brined porkchops with lemon pepper new potatoes again any time soon though.