How Did This Happen?

Somehow the kiddo is three months old. And I am headed back to work Thursday. And I couldn't be happier about it.

Well that isn't true. I wish that I didn't have to commute. Because as much as I am glad to be working again I will really miss the baby. And I am worried that I am going to be exhausted getting up before five every day. But I suppose we will figure it out.

I also feel a little guilty about wanting to go back. This is my deal because I am carefully following my rule of trying not to tell anyone anything. You can't win the whole work vs. stay home debate. Just like you should never tell anyone where your baby sleeps or what she is eating. EVER.

She's working on getting two teeth (yeah I know, at three months). And I am thinking weaning is going to happen when those suckers cut. We're all trying to sort out the new routines. And I am hoping that maybe I will become more interesting. She's a great baby, but I am pretty boring with all diapers and hanging out at home.

Other than that things are quiet around here. My best friend just visited this weekend. We sold some land this weekend. We are just cruising through spring.

I still don't know how the baby can be three months though.

Boring Mom Stuff

I have been sick since we got back from Iowa. I just have the cough left but it is brutal. My whole body hurts from the force of it. Up until two days ago the baby had escaped it, but she is filled to the brim with snot now. FABOO

About an hour ago she lost her mind and begged to go to bed. I wish the girl could talk because, "Mother, I would like to go to sleep now," would be much preferred over face melting screaming and rage. Oh the rage.

I think she is sleeping now. PLEASE LET HER SLEEP FOR A WHILE.

My MIL was supposed to move out today. But her blinds weren't put in. Most of her stuff is in her apartment but she hasn't really moved. I am so excited she is going (she is too so no one feel sorry for her) I think we all need some space.

EIGHT Full Hours

Mo continues to cement her reputation as PERFECT BABY by sleeping eight hours straight last night. She picked the best possible time to do this since I really needed a good night's sleep to finish of this cold/flu/BLACK DEATH of mine (I'm coughing up blood, is that scary to anyone else?).

She did this a couple of times while we were in Iowa (ok once it was seven hours I WILL TAKE IT) and I figured it was from exhaustion. I mean she had been passed around to eight million people and I could see how that would wear a little one out. Now she has done it during a normally day and WOW PLEASE DO THIS EVERY NIGHT.

Monday I had a job interview. LORD. I was so nervous (and had a fever, can you imagine the sweating). I haven't really interviewed for anything outside of my current company in years. This new job is in an industry that I don't know anything about and all I can say is that if they called me tomorrow and made me a great offer I still do not know what I would say. HELPFUL.

Also, as a side note, I totally recommend getting your IUD inserted while you are already sick. That way you do not really care about what is happening. I expected it to hurt a lot more than it did and other than some annoying bleeding it's been no big deal. It was pretty surreal to have some one peering at my vagina and giggle, "oh you are definitely breastfeeding!"

Apparently, your tissues get really thin when you breastfeed. And then she told me all about how this will make sex hurt more and blah blah blah. I am just saying that husbands and boyfriends must just LOVE this woman. Because you know, nothing makes a tired woman want to have sex even more than PAIN.

A Mish Mash

I did feel like a moron in the days leading up to my trip. Because I was really nervous about diapers. As a mom of a two month old baby I should be a pro with diapers but actually . . . I hadn't used a disposable since babysitting about seventeen years ago. And when I pulled one out all I could do was say "dur . . ."

The legs don't look like they will hold anything in at all. And how tight are you supposed to fit them and BAH. I felt like a moron but yeah.

The results were mixed. I did figure them out (not hard I KNOW) and my first instincts were right--those legs don't hold in anything. I have to admit they suck up pee like a mother fucker and if my child only peed I would be all about this. But she shits. A lot. Early and often. And disposables are pretty worthless for that. She had a blow out our first day in Iowa. And then another next day. Fortunately, I ignored J when he mocked me for using the covers from the cloth diapers over the disposables and those held everything in so her clothes weren't destroyed. I have solved the damn mystery of why everyone goes through so many clothes with infants. Their diapers BLOW.

She did sleep like a champ on the trip though, and was dry as a bone (wearing a HUGE INFLATED diaper) when she woke up. I do sort of miss that.

None of this makes up for me having to spend far too long figuring out the damn things in the first place. DAMN.

I had an interview today. Basically my first in five years? And it was strange. It's doing what I do now, but for a totally different industry in a totally different sort of company. I didn't talk as much as I might normally since I woke up with NO VOICE at all. And they seemed to just want to plow through things quickly. I don't know if that is because they liked me or hated me. I have no read on it at all.

Worse. If they called me tomorrow and offered it to me, for the money I want, I do not know what I would say. DUR.

While I was at the interview J had to take Momo to her well baby appointment. WITH SHOTS. I guess she took it like a trooper with a minimum of fuss. Crying for just a couple of minutes. And through the Power of My Breasts she is now average size instead of TEENY. I do acknowledge that the baby MAY have had something to do with that. We are a good team.

She is now passed out with my MIL. Poor little thing.

OR BIG THING since she moved up 30 percentage points on the growth chart.

Miss You All

Behold.

The child and I have returned from the cornfields unharmed.

Well she is unharmed I have a wicked cough and a temperature.

Baby cemented her status of Propaganda Baby (the baby that convinces you that babies are not too much work and OH SO adorable and wouldn't you like to have one/another one?) by making about three peeps on all four flights. And while I earned my parenting merit badge by changing four poopie diapers in the air (including a blow out) she was really about as perfect as she can be.

In the days to come you will read about my first brush with disposable diapers (I am an idiot!), how even the perfect baby cannot handle that many people in a house that is like an oven and how I have a job interview tomorrow (WTF?!?! What do I wear? What the hell am I doing? Is it wrong to go with an ugly cough?).

But for now I am going to lay in my own bed and cry.