Over the weekend, in a way that I still cannot pinpoint, I hurt my foot. It didn't hurt when it happened but it does hurt now. I cannot point my foot, I cannot flex my foot, and wearing shoes is not so much the fun thing right now. Sadly, I have to wear shoes, and most of my shoes are very high and very pretty and very not feeling good right now.
My foot has swelled up to look like a fat little sausage, one that would look fabulous wrapped up in a pancake but looks like hell shoved into a high heel.
Cruel cruel fate, give me back my shoe collection but don't let me wear anything cute.
I am at a loss as to what to do. If it is broken they won't do anything so why go to the doctor. Except for the pretty drugs, I might go for the drugs. Because the foot? Is very very hurty, y'all.
I am trying to think of creative ways I could have hurt it, it just makes me sound like a sad alcoholic that I can't remember and I didn't even get any wine first. I mean, honestly, it would probably be better for my reputation to say, "I got drunk and fell down," rather than, "DUDE. NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED."
Perhaps aliens attacked it with tiny invisible hammers while I slept?
Eh, maybe I will blame the dog.
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