SELFISH

J is off being all fancy businessman in Montana (where he had a long discussion with the rental car company about not giving him a BIG GIANT RENTAL CAR--I thought Texas was where everything is bigger) and I am kicking it single girl style. Sadly, no male strippers just too many pizza rolls and cans of Diet Dr. Pepper (am living the wild life).

I used to love to live alone but now I feel like a big giant cliche because not so much. It is just sort of creepily quiet plus the dogs are being pissy about having to accept their medicinal cheese from me. The also both decided to have diarrhea in the cellar today which made that smell . . . delicious?

Why does Buster's ear medicine smell EXACTLY like peach candy? It is totally ruining peach candy for me.

In other news my boobs are . . .looking odd.

Just prior to my ladytime the girls tend to swell up a bit. This month they have swollen a lot--enough that I am thinking that maybe J has been using them for a kick boxing workout--and are pointing just slightly uh outward? Like my nipples are two lazy eyes? I don't know, it is freaking me out. It took me entirely too long this morning to jam my breasts into a bra.

And sadly, the one person I could legitimately make discuss my breasts with me is in Montana. Damn selfish man.